Life, confessions, obsessions and regrets.

The last few years have been pretty rough. A lot has happened and I have changed a lot.

I’ve got a lot to say and a lot on my mind. I’m gonna unleash here and some of it may be hard to read.

Three years ago I thought I had it all figured out; home, good job, the best friends in the world, a woman who loved me and supported me. How much I had to learn; about love, life, friendship, and happiness.

When the woman I called mine left me, it was a slap in the face but one I definitely needed. I had become comfortable, complacent. I’ve been depressed for a while, and the slap hurt so much at the time that I went numb and into autopilot or survival mode. I’m not sure I ever fully came back from that place.

As I look back over the last few years, I have many regrets. But most of all; not being true to myself. I consider myself an honest, nice person. But I have lied, cheated, compromised, and stolen. Every single event pains me and causes me endless guilt, and I hope to eventually admit and apologize to all the people I’ve hurt.

The purpose of this post was initially to help me clear the air in my head, but now I think I’ve found it’s true purpose; I pledge to get the help I need to be happy, I pledge to be a better person.

Hopefully I will post more soon.
I’m spent,
Pat

 

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Posted on December 30, 2011, in Blogging, blogs, Relationship and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

  1. You didn’t hurt me man. Mary obviously wasn’t meant to be. Could only mean better things to come. Patience is a virtue and as you once said, 2012 is going to be a good year for you. Keep your chin up. 802 688 XXXX

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